5 Things Being A Parent Has Taught Me

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Being a mother has changed me in so many ways but I think the one and most important way has been the increase in confidence. 

 

1. Confidence 

I consider myself a pretty confident person even pre baby, but once that little soul entered this earthly realm..oh boy.. 

Perhaps it was the mama bear instinct that kicked in, perhaps something else, but one thing I know for sure. I wanted to teach my daughter how to be confident in herself and for that, she need the best role model she could have. Who am I to tell anyone to be confident if I can’t be so myself? I got to live up to it and lemme tell you.. It feels pretty darn good. 

Though the days of being hyper insecure are just a faint memory of the past at this point, I quickly learned how to stand up for myself in ways I hadn’t considered before. Most importantly, with everything that I do, I remind myself that I am doing my best and that is good enough because that’s what I want my daughter to live by. 

 

2 Know what you want and don’t want

Having a child has made me stronger in so many ways but one weakness I’ve always had has been knowing what I want and stating it. She helped me with that one too. Seeing my daughter so fiercely expressive when it comes to what she wants and doesn’t want has taught me how to recognize my own desires and in that, giving myself the freedom and permission to be more vocal when it comes to expressing my own desires and needs. 

On the flip side of that. I find it equally as important to know and recognize what you don’t want. So often I come across people doing a lot of things they don’t want to do because they are scared of saying no. This is where I always tell people to treat themselves like they would their own children. I would never want my daughter to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and I’m not talking skipping bedtime here... but so many of us have learned that life comes with a whole list of ‘you have to, even if you don’t want to’ and as a result most of us don’t realize when we’re neglecting ourselves by doing things we don’t want. It often looks like an internal conversation of 'mmm I don’t really want to, like I reaaaaallly don’t want to but I should. She might be disappointed in me or get mad if I don’t.. but I really don’t want to.. I guess I’ll do it anyways’ and that’s the end of that. Have you ever seen how much resistance comes with a child that is being forced to do something they don’t want to? Yeah.. that should be you.. except for the temper tantrums.. know what you don’t want and trust your emotional guidance system on this one. 

The other day I read a post from a girl talking about how she looked up to this other woman because she would always prioritize everyone else before herself. Insert red flags!!!  ALARMS GOING OFF OVER HERE!!! 

I had to let out a deep sigh.. oh sweet girl... how can I tell you to prioritize YOU! Putting everyone else’s needs before your own is a sure recipe for a lot of bitter resentments followed by ‘I did this for you’ and ‘you owe me’ with a side of potential fatigue. 

Learn to say no guys, and ladies! No can be extremely healthy.. 

 

3 Self care is crucial

It’s 2018, unfortunately we don’t live in tribes anymore and often times raising a child is a one woman show. (Or shit show). In those cases. Self care is crucial. 

Finding the time for it though... I know I know.. good luck.. but finding ways to fill my own cup or should I say PRIORITIZING - filling my own cup whenever I can is an absolute necessity. Without it, I’m a horrible person! I’m far from the best version of myself which means I slack when it comes to being a good mother, wife, friend. I become a hot mess!! Angry & overwhelmed with the endless chores, tears and laughter that comes with being a mother. 

So how do I find the time to take care of myself and what do I do? I ask someone to babysit. In my case it's mostly just hubby that gets to do that. Husband, friend, family, whoever you trust, just call for help.. And for that hr, I will do something that I know makes me feel good! I know it can be incredibly tempting to just sit down in a corner or lay in bed and scroll on the phone for an hour but I try and do something that I know will pay off. 

I read a book, meditate, go for a loooong walk without the phone - or with it in case I want to listen to an audio book. (Motherhood teaches you to multitask on a whooole other level). I go for a run or go to the gym, preferably anything that gets me out of the house and do something different. But most importantly.. I BREEEAATH! I put that fight or flight feeling on pause for a bit and I breath through it all. 

In the past I would find myself procrastinating a lot because hey. I can always do it later.. Then motherhood came along... What does 'later' mean? if I have 10 min it's either now or never.

 

4. It’s the little things 

Noticing how water pours from a bucket, the texture of sand, turning a piece of paper into 50, squeezing a blackberry in your fist, eating with your hands, sitting in a drawer because you can, tasting new things, laughing more... The never ending beauty of this earthly realm that we find ourselves in is just breathtaking. 

When My husband was out walking with our daughter (before she could walk) he would always stop and smell the roses with her because ‘one should never be too busy to stop and smell the roses’. Today we can barely go anywhere without having to smell EVERY plant. I say plant because we have to smell the grass, the bushes, the dandelion, the rose and the dried up weeds. I mean.. how can you do anything but smile, and be late to your every appointment.. ‘sorry, my daughters had to stop and smell the flowers’.

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In those moments I’m reminded that everything at every moment is new. There’s always something new if only we stop and wonder with the eyes of a child. 

It’s the little things in life that makes it all worth while. The smiles, the tears, the hugs, the kisses.. they’ve become the big things. 

 

5. Be present - this too shall pass

I’m constantly reminded that no matter how trying it can be, good or bad, this too shall pass.. With each breath you take, every moment passes and becomes a memory before your eyes. Before you blink, you’re no longer pregnant but have a little human in your arms, blink, this little thing is now crawling, blink, walking, blink, mommy mommy can I.. blink, woa what happened... Time.. Time is what happened and yes, it flew by at the speed of lightning. 

having a little one makes it easier to see just how fast time flies and it’s forever a reminder to be in the present moment because if you’re not, you’ll be missing out on a lot. 

 

❤ Diana

How to navigate extra sensitive kids / My story growing up with ghosts

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We are spiritual beings having a human experience and this lifetime around, I'm living my human life as Diana. I’ve always been an intuitive and most of the time I live in another world while pretending to function in this one. I've always had extra sensory abilities (we all do) but they were very obvious to me from an early age. I've always been and felt different and now having a child I find it important to share this story/experience with you so that you may be able to help your child in ways that my parents weren't able to help me. You may be thinking WOOOAAA, where are we going with this? Or perhaps you're thinking' I'm right with you, keep going'! Anywho.. I'll keep going..

The house I grew up in was haunted, like.. haunted haunted.. and I had no where to hide. I remember telling my mom every day that there was something following me around the house. (note: don't brush it off if your kids tell you that a monster is following them). It was right there looking at me and I was scared of it. I remember RUNNING at night when I came home from visiting friends. I had to run down our insanely long driveway to get to our front door which didn't really do much except my parents where there which made me feel a little safer. It was like a 45 sec sprint considering my tiny legs at the age of 10! 

The entire property was haunted but there were specific places in the house that were more haunted than others. The hallway that then lead to the dark stairs to the upper floor where my room was - of course. The tool house & garage. I HATED those places. I could always hear the stairs squeaking as if someone was walking up and down, except - no one was there. 

My mom was really good at telling me I was crazy and that it was all in my head so being home alone was the WORST because then I COULDN'T convince myself that I was imagining it! I remember not wanting the TV on because what if it turned off? I also didn't wan't it off because what if it turned ON? Then I would unplug it only to freak out by the idea that 'what if it turned on even without the plug in the wall?' Like I had seen on TV? (don't watch horror movies ok, just don't). I was losing it. Going NUTS. I would sit and cover my ears and close my eyes and sing a song when I got really scared. I would go to bed this way. Most kids are scared of the imaginary monster under the bed but this 'monster' was real. I knew it.

That’s been my reality ever since I can remember. I can hide from the living but theres no running from the spirits - even if you try. 

 

TIP #1

Listen to you children with an open mind & heart. You never know what they may be seeing that you're not. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not real.

 

I found myself confused, scared & feeling like a crazy person. I wasn't even 10. I wanted to close my eyes and have it all disepear once I opened them again.. but that didn't happen. I wanted to cover my ears and no longer hear the scary whispers from a place beyond this earthly realm. All throughout my childhood/early teens I tried to make it go away and through several attempts of trying to deny it, I found myself lost in this world AND the other. 

Every day I kept asking my mom if she sensed something and I kept telling her that I was right, that she HAD TO BELIEVE ME. There was something IN OUR HOUSE. STARING AT ME. FOLLOWING ME. Sadly my moms response was always the same. She would always tell me that I was imagining it and that it wasn't real. Then one day, many years after we had moved out, I was is my 20's, I asked my mom about that place we used to live in. I asked if she remembered how I used to tell her that I thought there was a ghost in the house. Her response was then very different. She said 'oh yeah, I remember that. That place was haunted by an older man but I knew that if I told you, you would run away and never come back'... THANKS A LOT MOM!!!
 

Tip #2

The truth is always better. Don't ever think you're doing your children a service or that you're protecting them by lying. Don't ever withhold in the name of 'you wouldn't be able to handle it' because in reality, when that sentence comes out, It's YOU that can't handle how someone else might respond.  

 

My mom later on told me a story of how she ones stayed at a hotel in Thailand and in the middle of the night her blanket was ripped off her and something/one grabbed her by her ankles. She screamed and ran downstairs to reception and asked the front desk about the paranormal activity in her room. Sure enough they told her that a girl had recently committed suicide in that room and that others had reported paranormal activity from that room as well. 
WOW.. I looked at my mom like 'how did you survive that?' I can't even imagine what I would've done in that situation. 

Ever since I can remember I’ve had the ability to sense things that others couldn’t. I would predict things ; I used to tell my mom that the phone would ring seconds before it rang. I had hunches about people or situations along with a very strong sense of empathy. I used to feel other peoples feelings and emotions to the extend where I thought they were my own. (not much has changed on that front but I've learned to navigate it). I could hear what the animals were thinking and I felt what they felt. My mom and I once rescued a dove which we had brought back to the house to nurse back to health. Long story short, I remember standing next to my mom as we were booth looking at the dove. I then look at my mom and tell her 'it's about to die'. My mom looks at me baffled and says 'what are you talking about?' 30 seconds later, the dove died.

All of this didn’t make sense when I was younger so I did what I could to ignore the things I saw. No one else saw them so I must've been the crazy one right? Sparkly things in the air or colors around peoples bodies. I specifically remember wanting to tell my mom about it but I was so scared that she would give me glasses and once again tell me I was crazy and something was wrong with my eyes. This was all before I knew colors were auras and the waves were energy.. Had I known then what I know now.. gosh.. I can't even imagine. 


Tip # 3

Ask questions with curiosity. Asking questions is a great way for them to feel validated and heard. Even if you don't believe them. Did you boy just say that the dog has a tummy ache? Well what if he was right? Tell me more... 
 

Because of all these crazy things, I kept to myself and I doubted my gift for many years. ‘Is this for real?’ what if I’m wrong? Will people laugh at me? I did what I could to ignore it which quickly lead me to feeling like I was neglecting a big part of myself. This stuff is as real as you reading this blog right now.. Can I just say that as I'm writing this, the door just shut by itself.. it's been open for a while.. then a few minutes later paper just fell from the shelf? yeah... ok... continue on...

 

Tip #4

Encourage the exploration of a different world. Ever heard the sentence 'Ignorance is bliss'? Well it's NOT.
Learn about this topic. If you're reading this blog then good for you.. and your child. Even if you think it's not real.. What's wrong with expanding ones imagination?

 

YOU ARE GIFTED TOO

Everyone has these abilities, most of us have just learned to shut them down and then find themselveswe live in a very dense 3D world where most people are out of touch with their intuition and other beings that want to help. This is why so many people feel lost and confused. But if you're on a path of rediscovering your natural abilities then just remember that It's ok to feel confused in the beginning. As with anything, it will come with time and trust. Today I feel like the flood gates are open stronger than ever before because I'm trusting it. Even if I can't interpret a message right away, I just sit with it and allow it to come trough me. I allow it to be what it is and sometimes I’m still not sure what to do with it all...other than just embrace it and keep learning and listening and so that’s exactly what I’m doing.. The challenging part in this work is to distinguish between your own imagination and the images you are shown or voices you hear. I compare this to how you tell the difference between a memory or a made up image. Theres not really much difference in how you 'see' these things except for the rational feeling or belief that you have experienced the memory. It is something you can FEEL. This is not as easy to explain but something you have to get a 'feel' for.. It will come with practice.

 

Tip #5

Question your beliefs. This is a hard one for many. A lot of people are stuck in what they think is the truth but have you ever changed your mind about something in the past? You may say 'the truth' never changes but what's true for you today may not be true for you tomorrow and I ask that you open your heart and mind so that you may be able to explore new things if you find that they go against your current beliefs. Your children may teach you something new.

 

TRUST

Though I've come to realize that I'm not crazy, I'm not just telling myself things, this shit is REAL. There are still times where I think; Really? REALLY? Like, FOR REAL? WOW!!! And it is so important to have someone to encourage you to feel what you feel and see what you see.

Trust and  is something that I'm excited about being able to pass on not just to my child(ren) but you who are reading this blog. Trust yourself and find someone to talk to about these things. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you have me.. Just know that you are not alone. 

What's your experience with paranormal activity?

With Love ❤ , Diana