What if a new american dream was to 'just' be HAPPY. Not to be rich, skinny, perfectly tanned or wearing over prized designer clothes and have a flat stomach. What if.. all that mattered was that you were HAPPY. Doing the things you love when and how you want to do them. Unrealistic? Maybe.. Maybe not.. How about experimenting with it and at least doing a little more of what you love each day. It will look different for all of us and thank God for that. Why would you want to be like everyone else? I personally have no desire to. I desire to be me, with whatever that comes with and only I know what that means.
Honoring yourself and your own needs can be a tough journey. Trust me I know. Many of us have created a life where we live on auto pilot and don't even know when we cross our own boundaries. I want to change that. No more waiting till the bird hits the window for you to wake up and ask yourself questions about the path that you have chosen so far.
I know that many of you ARE questioning why you are doing the things you're doing.. And sometimes it can be hard to find the answer unless you ask the right questions... When you've moved SO FAR away from what your true self and true desire is...man.. That's a dark path to go down..
SO WHY DON'T WE PLAY A GAME...
What if, for a day or 2, or a week.. Let's just do a week because you've probably gone on autopilot for way longer than what good is.. For a week.. What if all you did was what YOU wanted ( I realize you might have to work a job you don't want or go to school, but maybe you have a week off, or maybe you'll just play this game for a weekend). So.. For the sake of this game.. What if every day you would wake up when you wanted and ask yourself this question; what do I want to do today? Maybe you'd know right away or maybe you'd sit down and wonder for an hr or 2 and realize that you might not know at all... (too long of a journey on autopilot can do this to you) so you might actually have NO clue what you want and that's ok too. First, you'll get clear about what you DON'T want and that will eventually lead you closer to what you DO want. One step at a time.. Don't worry.. You'll get there and it's not a race of any kind. It's about YOU doing YOU however you want. And if you already know.. Great.. my only question then is, why are you NOT doing it if you already know?
My personal journey was one of not knowing. Literally having no clue! I have a past of an old angry x-stepdad who would yell at me if I had any request of what I wanted, which resulted in me learned to not even form an opinion in the first place. This all happened at an early age, but I'm breaking that pattern, shattering it completely because I choose to re-write my story.
You might wake up and not feel like wearing makeup, SO DON'T. You might be confused and think you want, but then ask yourself, do I really WANT to or is it because I worry about how people are going to view me? Is this REALLY something that my SOUL wants? I doubt you go to sleep excited to wake up 15 minutes earlier than you 'have to' just to put make up on. So with everything that you are used to doing, question yourself. Am I doing this because I (my soul) want to or am I doing this because I wonder about the outcome if I don't?
'Do I wan't to be at home or go out and meet my friends?' You might not know. Then try one of them. Stay at home, see how that feels.. If it feels good, good choice. If not, then go out. As you're out, ask yourself, does this feel good? And really listen.. I mean REALLY listen. No shoulding on yourself here. Do you feel good or do you really want to go back home? Do the thing YOU want. As I said, just for a few days or a week, experiment with this no matter how radical it might sound or look. Just tell your friends 'hey, I'm experimenting with something for a week, I'll tell you about it later'..
Do you want pizza or burger for dinner? You might think; well, I shouldn't eat any of those because I'll gain weight.. Ok, great I'd say.. who's telling you that you shouldn't gain weight? You? The media? Your friends? Are you worried that your friends might not like you as much if you gained a pound or 2 or are you worried that you'll think you have to spend an extra 2 hrs at the gym? Do you really believe that eating any of those things once in a while is going to make such a big difference as you entertain in your mind? It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do every day.
What kind of energy are you giving off when you take 27 pictures before hitting the 'perfect selfie' and then start to edit it to make it look 'even better' ? Is it for people to think that you look like something you don't so they can admire you? For what reason are you doing this? How much are you sucking in your stomach to get the right abs photo? If you just want likes and for people to admire you, great.. Keep doing it.. I'm not judging (I'm not saying that I'm not doing any of these things). I just want you to question the reasons why you're doing what you're doing and be aware of it! Nothing wrong with wanting some affirmations, but I trust that you get my point here.
There's PLENTY of instagram profiles you can follow if you're looking to lower your own self esteem and thinking that you're doing something wrong because you don't look like that 'perfect girl' that by the way, might not even look like that.. I personally don't want to be that.. I desire to give you something much more than that. I do realize that I've been blessed with a certain look that, if you know my story, came as a blessing and a curse, but that's not what I desire for you to focus on. I desire for you to be happy with being YOU and as I said, that's not always the easiest journey. Every day something might come up where you're thinking; I shouldn't do this because so and so. I shouldn't eat this because so and so. I'm not good enough to do so and so. I'm not fit enough, I'm no smart enough, I'm not fast enough, I'm not rich enough..
Are you EVER gonna be enough?
Maybe you're not.. Can you live with that? Sit with that for a while... What if you're not?
I believe that if you believe that you're not, then you're not... If you believe that you are, then you are.. You might be thinking 'that's easy for me to say' and yeah it might be, but believe me when I tell you that I'm still on my journey... And changing your mindset can be a tough one yet necessary..
Do things because you want to, not because you don't want something.
BE good enough. Choose to do what you want because you no longer (hopefully) have anyone literally forcing you to do anything! The only one forcing anything on you is YOU! So force greatness on yourself. As much energy as you spend telling yourself that you won't ever be good enough, spend all or even just half the time telling yourself the opposite. That you ARE good enough. If there's anything you don't want to do then don't. If theres someone you don't want in your life, then don't allow them. Choose what enters your space and be ok with that. Be ok with setting boundaries for yourself because who's gonna stick up for you if YOU don't? Take the concept of 'being your own best friend' to a whole new level and be the kind of BFF to yourself that you could only dream of. Live and choose a 'new American dream'.. I know I am..
With Love ❤ , Diana